I made a fatal error. I wrote a post after having just cleaned up the remains of a yellow throated warbler. In the previous few weeks I had also cleaned up a humming bird, a bluebird and several other unidentified species. I was sad and angry and frustrated and feeling guilty that I had not been able to stop the carnage.I posted as though I was venting to friends who know al facets of me well without recognizing that I was sounding off to universe that only knows me a few paragraphs at a time. We are, off course, not getting rid of mr. kitty. We are going to make every attempt to keep him indoors although I know it will be an uphill slog with kith and kin in and out all day. We have thought of all of the other solutions (thanks to those who offered them) and this seems the most logical. I am going to take a blog vacation and lick my wounds.
My best wishes,
Kathy
June 19, 2010 at 8:46 am
I haven’t read all the comments posted to your last column, Kathy, so I’ll just say that when I read the column, I thought, “Uh oh, she’s going to take some heat for this.” Let me just say, I LOVE your blog, and I LOVE the honesty and straight-forwardness of the way you confront both the predicament we humans find ourselves in (peak oil and sullying our own environment) and the choices we as individuals have to make in life. Any moral dilemma a person faces is fraught with grey – it is never black and white – and I think your post acknowledged your struggle with the moral dilemma you face with your cat. If we value a free society, then we need to let people reach their own answers to their own moral dilemmas. We as individuals will never agree with all the choices other individuals make, but we need to trust them to make those decisions for themselves. Not everyone will struggle with the moral issues inherent in some of their decisions – they will choose what is expedient without giving it a lot of thought. You clearly don’t fall into that category. You are right – we, your readers, only know a bit about your life. But it is clear to me that a woman who does all you do in your community – most especially your exemplary role as a foster and adoptive mother – provides a model for how to engage moral dilemmas. If any open acknowledgment of a moral struggle is greeted with hostile certainty of the proper response, then we force people to cope with these struggles inwardly.
Sorry to be long winded. I’m sure you’ll be getting many comments begging you not to take a break. One woman recently commented something like “you’re like my morning coffee.” Well, for me, you’re the first person I read *with* my morning coffee (and not only because you tend to post early!), and I miss you on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You provide a little bit of inspiration for the day – inspiration to do something better than I might have without your example. So thanks for your blog, Kathy, and best wishes for a happy weekend and Father’s Day.
-Alison
June 19, 2010 at 10:50 am
Kathy,
Please see my response in your “2010
mea culpa” post.
We all have our failings, as we are human. Don’t feel condemned for having emotions and caring for God’s creatures. But please do pray about your course of action. If you declaw your cat and a predatory Dog comes along and your Cat can’t climb any nearby trees because you had your Cat declawed, then how will you feel – probably very guilty?
And then too, can you honestly say that you will feel no guilt about a predator taking the life of your Cat as a result of your declawing that Cat? I mean, declawing is already affecting you emotionally.
Let nature run its natural course and let God’s creatures be what they are…
Have a great weekend!
June 19, 2010 at 11:17 am
While I’m going to miss you, I don’t blame you at all. Enjoy your break, Kathy; you’ve more than earned it. Have a great weekend, a fabulous month of June and an awesome summer. (Just trying to cover whatever amount of time you’re away.)
June 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I wish I could articulate my feelings as well as Alison S., but since I can’t, let me say I totally agree with her. I would like to relate a story that might give you some hope as to keeping Mr. Kitty inside. I once became owned by a feral cat who was approximately seven months old when he came to live with me. That was the vet’s estimation of age. He was a scroungy boy and I took him to live in a two-story townhouse. I had him neutered as a responsible pet owner, but did not have him declawed because I consider it mutilation as do many others. My landlord said I could have him, but had to keep him inside at all times. Sending a declawed cat outside seemed like trouble to me anyway. In the course of his 16 years he never went outside except in a carrier for vet visits and two moves to different houses. He also learned to get along with various dogs that have lived with me and the dogs, who always had a doggie door, never allowed Peel to get near it. He was an amazing animal who always kept the house free of mice. While the kitty box is a downside to indoor cats, I always felt it was a small price to pay for a wonderful companion and much joy. Indoor cats are not as succeptable to various cat diseases, not to mention other predators and things like being hit by a car. Most vets today recommend keeping your cat inside to give it a long and healthy life. I say give it a try and you may find it isn’t as bad as you think. Basically when I took my cat in, it just never occurred to me that it couldn’t be done. Many of my successes in life happen that way and I suspect that is true of most people. Like everyone else, I hope your blogging break isn’t too long. Your best posts seem to get the dialog going and isn’t that the idea? I knew you didn’t mean it about putting down Mr. Kitty and you were just venting. I have read all your books and followed your blog from the beginning. I knew it wasn’t in you.
June 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Kathy,
You may have made a fatal (well, not fatal I hope, just painful) error but it probably wasn’t in your having a debate over the appropriate response to your cat killing wild life. It may have been in putting it out there in public where people who are not as reasoned as you are welcomed to comment. Painful stuff, indeed. People see cats as “part of the family” and they “love” them, and thereby feel free to forgive their transgressions. The ecological costs of cats are not considered, because “love” is supposed to be unconditional. I used to have cats and I “loved” them, too. Then I had two revelations. First, birds and cats feel exactly the same misery when they are hurt. I cared about my cats, coddled them, took them to the vet when they were sick, wanted them to be happy, empathized with their pain. But my cats were killing birds. So caring about the cats and not about the birds was clearly just a choice I was making. I had to ask why. Second, cats are just another possession humans want (until they don’t, then they get kicked out to become outdoor cats or feral or euthanized at the shelter). They are not natural and would not survive in great numbers outside if they were not fed by humans. A hungry cat does not make a good hunter and rarely do fed cats eat their kills. Once I understood these new facts, I changed my behavior and now I don’t have cats and am happy to explain to others what I have learned.
Should I be sorry here for keeping this thing going when you clearly need to be rid of it? Really hard for me to miss an opportunity to support someone who wants to look at all facets of this issue. It sure does get people’s hair up when they are asked to look at the consequences of their actions. Thanks for being you and enjoy your break.
June 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm
We’ve thought of building a ‘cattery’ for our indoor cat who really wants to spend time outdoors playing. The type that seems like it might vaguely be possible for us would be one where we put a catflap into a window, so she could go in & out at will. Catteries are kinda like a chicken coop for cats, but fancier
(you can find lots of examples if you google for them)
Logistics of things like window locations and walls and available space in the yard (and the money to build it) are what’s kept us from seriously pursuing building one.
Meanwhile, when she really wants out and we also have the time to indulge her, we put her in a harness (she’s a big cat, so we bought a ‘small breed’ dog harness) attached to a long leash, and take her out in the yard with us. I don’t remember how old she was when we first put her in a harness though. At least 6 months, and probably closer to a year is my guess.
Best of luck with this hard situation you’re in. These aren’t ever easy, but I’m sure that in the end you will make the choice that works as best as it can for all involved.
June 19, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Oh, Kathy, you are just an honest person who says what she is thinking at the time she thinks it. Of course, I was hoping that you were just upset about what the cat had done and would find a way to stop the behavior. (BTW, I spoke with a friend who runs our local feral cat rescue and she said that the belled collar would work in almost every case. Just make sure it’s elastic so kitty won’t choke if it gets caught.)
Pets are such a touchy subject and I too, knew you were going to take some heat. But I would hate to see you monitor your writing because you were concerned that other people (who you don’t know and probably will never meet) won’t like what you have to say. This is your blog and of course, you should write what you’re thinking, learning and struggling with. This is why we read it!
Take care of yourself and I hope to see you writing again in a few days! I will miss you otherwise!!! {{{hugs}}}
June 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Best of luck! -I- appreciate this tack more (although I mean nothing to you, and similarly vice versus), and I hope that it works out for you.
June 20, 2010 at 1:52 am
Hi Kathy,
I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but don’t think I’ve posted yet?
I purposely haven’t read yesterday’s comments, but just wanted to say I sympathise with you entirely. If I had a blog I think I would regularly ‘say’ things in the heat of the moment that I then had to explain- blogging is a dialogue and it’s easy to forget the other end isn’t party to all the information that you are.
Mostly, though, I am in the same dilemma as you. I love birds and try to encourage them to my garden. I have had cats all my life, and currently have 3. One is older and has never caught an animal that I’ve seen, despite being feral as a kitten.
The other 2 are 18 months and the loveliest cats I’ve ever had. However, they regularly catch and bring home mice, voles, shrews, birds and even a baby rabbit. One caught a wood pigeon that was as big as her. The most distressing has been the fledglings this spring. I reluctantly don’t have nestboxes up because of them. I try to keep them in in the early mornings, and they both have collars with a tag and two bells. I don’t know if the collars help- maybe they’d be worse without them.
Please try not to worry too much about what you wrote Kathy, and don’t be away too long.
June 20, 2010 at 6:44 am
Kathy,
I hope your break won’t be to long, reading your blog has taught me so much and inspires me to do more each day. I read the responces to your kitty post and had also posted, I hope you will look at them as comments from friends who were sharing a cup of tea on the back porch. We ALL have days when we are at wits end our friends help bring us back to the center. Glad to hear Kitty will continue to be around, I hope she will stop her evil ways and learn to be a sweeter kitty. PLEASE come back soon!!!!!
June 20, 2010 at 7:55 pm
Kathy, I too will miss your daily (Almost) posts, but I understand your need for a break. Not everybody is going to agree every time with everybody else. We are a very opinionated species, and sometimes we think that our opinion is the right one. I have often been glad I have small feet, as I have often had to remove one foot from my mouth only to insert the other one. We are adults here and should respect your decision, no matter what, we are not in your shoes.
June 21, 2010 at 5:50 am
Good morning, Kathy
Into every life a little rain must fall. It sure does look like you stumbled into a monsoon. It’s your blog; so, you can say whatever you want. It’s your cat; so, you can do whatever you want. Have a happy break! We will miss you.
June 21, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Hi Kathy-
I’ve been watching and reading and really think this was blown way out of proportion. While I don’t know you personally, I think I know you well enough to say that you probably weren’t planning on tying Mr. Kitty in a bag and throwing him in the river. Everyone gets frustrated and everyone needs to vent and as it’s your blog, you have every right to do so…at least until the FCC commissioners decide to regulate/censor blogs. Ahem.
Everyone needs an outlet. In fact, I’m getting ready to vent on my blog about moles that are tearing up my yard, garden, flowerbeds, orchard, grape arbor. I’m thinking along the lines of Bill Murray in Caddy Shack. Sensitive readers may wish to avert their eyes
Enjoy your time off…and know your loyal readers will be waiting for you.
June 21, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Kathy, please don’t consider this “error” “fatal”. My dear Kathy, I sympathize entirely with your feelings that you wrote about the other day in wanting to preserve the birds’ lives. I didn’t think that it was a “fatal error” at all! You were just writing what you felt and thought as I thought you always did.
I personally would have leaned toward preserving the cats’ life–having several of my own–and I’m glad to hear you’re not giving up on keeping the cat. But humans feel differenetly abut nature’s creatures and that’s what makes us human.
I’m so sorry for any wounds this all has caused you! I hope they are small wounds and will heal very quickly no scars and we will be checking in to read you again.
thanks very much for your blog, Peace to you and the cat and birds,
shamba
June 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm
Sometimes you just need a break. Just wanted to add my voice to others about your great blog. It is the one I look for first. Somehow you manage to resonate with me about so many issues whether they be personal challenges or your wisdom about current events that in some way affect everyone of us.
June 22, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Kathy
ok you need to come back now cause Matt Savinar from LATCO is scaring me to death and I need your clear and calm voice to keep me from spinning in circles. from his breaking new page.,
I Quote
“With that out of the way, I’m going to go ahead and say it: “Yeah, this is it.”
ok now calm me down PLEASE
June 23, 2010 at 8:52 am
Sarah,
I’m know that I may be out of the loop about these different sites and who is who but I have a very difficult time Not being extremely skeptical of the motives of anyone who in one sentence says…
“With that out of the way, I’m going to go ahead and say it: “Yeah, this is it.”"
And then in the very next sentence tries to sell you something.
“For anybody who missed yesterday’s update: I’m now offering private, individualized consultation services. See LATOC: Private Consultation Services”
Following the link provided takes you to a page listing the following:
$250 for an e-mail consultation
$350 for a one hour phone consultation and
$500 for a 90 minute in person consultation
It profits him tremendously to scare as many people as he can so that they buy this new service he is offering. A service that he only started offering yesterday.
June 23, 2010 at 11:35 am
Hey, Kathy-
Hope you’re having a good break. We have three cats, and while keeping them inside has not been entirely successful, we have found some other ways to minimize their natural tendencies. They are belled…that seems to have a big effect on their hunting ability. And I only let them out during mid-day, when the bunnies, etc are less active in my yard. Good luck with it all, and remember you just can’t keep everyone happy.
Diana
June 23, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Hi Kathy, I love your writing and I love your blog. (And your wonderful book!)
June 23, 2010 at 6:58 pm
For every one person tha posts a complaint there are at least 10 who like what you do but never take the time to give you any positive feedback. (I’ been working in online media for over 10 years)
Anyone who couldn’t discern the true intent of your post really is not worth paying attention to.
I love your blog and check it even on days I know you are not posting -
…Just in case
June 23, 2010 at 9:40 pm
A woman who’s blog I only found today mentioned how she has learned about the Cardinal Sin of BWC — a.k.a., Blogging While Cranky. I’ve recently been guilty of REPLYING while cranky, but I guess it’s something that we all need to re-realize. (I know that you’ve thought it before, as well as most of us, it just always takes a gaffe to drive it home.
)
June 23, 2010 at 9:44 pm
To BoyScout:
Ditto!
June 24, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Kathy – the thing I like about my favorite bloggers venting is that it gives a voice to things I feel too. You’re not the only one who looks at the four-legged children and wonders (or screams at them) if they are worth it.
They are, and so are the two-legged children, just not all the time.
Do I agree with everything you say? No. But it makes me think what I believe and whether I should change it or not.
Keep on blogging. Enjoy your break.
June 24, 2010 at 2:32 pm
We have the problem of a bird-happpy English setter….have to keep strict watch on our bluebird family as Mag just won’t leave the fleglings alone. Our family usually has three batches of babies a year in a house by the yard. It is fascinating to watch the parents coaxing the babies to fly and staying right with them until they have figured it out!! DEE
June 24, 2010 at 6:22 pm
An enclosed “catio”… this would solve all your problems (apologies if this has been previously posted)
http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/06/17/garden/20100617-catio-slideshow.html
June 27, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Kathy, I miss you. Please come back from your blogging vacation soon. Your blog is the first I read on a daily basis and keeps me grounded on my own journey for a simpler and more meaningful life while preparing for an unknown future. Thanks.
Judy