38 years ago today, I got married. It was a sit com of a wedding. The building my wedding dress was being altered in had a fire and I didn’t even know if I would have a dress or not. The band we hired broke up the weekend before the big day and they had to make do without a lead guitarist. The shoes that had been rented with the tuxes were wrong and the groomsmen wore hiking boots down the aisle. We had an ice storm and the photographer never showed. In spite of it all, the show went on.
Things were very different in those days. There were no destination weddings, no wedding planners. We got married in our church, had a meal catered by the Ladies Society and drove to Florida for our honeymoon. In keeping with the wedding theme, disaster 101, it was cold and rainy and I got stung by some noxious sea creature. I returned home with a delightful case of food poisoning and spent three days in the hospital, amassing a bill that seemed overwhelming at the time. Still, married we were and married we remain.
We have had ups and downs. They seemed unique to us but were in fact the normal ups and downs of most couples. We had 7 kids by birth and adoption, bought and sold a few houses. We buried our parents and saw our children married. We were present for the births of a few grandchildren and celebrated all of them. I can know about the problems of overpopulation and still anticipate the joy of holding my soon-to-be-born granddaughter.
In the midst of concern for our collective futures, I hope we can all remember to grab joy when it presents itself. I have much joy in my life and I get annoyed when it is assumed that I must be depressed or live in a constant state of fear. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love my home, drafty old barn of a place that it is, without granite countertops or crown molding. My little plot of land is precious to me. I love to plan for the location of each new tree or shrub I order. I enjoy my kids. I’m no Tiger Mama. My kids are never going to Harvard but they are kind and funny and happy. I have the best friends in the world. When I say they are like family, I really don’t do them justice. They are more than family. They’re my tribe. I’d trust them with my life.
And now I have to ask myself, how did I ever get so lucky in love. I married the nicest guy in the world. That may not seem like high praise but it really is. Bruce is honest and thoughtful and the best thing in my life. Not many woman can say that they are married to the cutest guy in the room but I can. Altogether, life is good and I’m blessed.
January 20, 2011 at 8:23 am
How did you get so lucky?? I think it was choice and hard work. Remember, he got a heck of a good deal too!
Congratulations!
January 20, 2011 at 9:13 am
Lovely post–thank you!
January 20, 2011 at 10:22 am
Congratulations! Your marriage sounds like what marriage should be – ups and downs, good and bad, happy and sad, trials and tribulations and in the end – wonderful.
In Dec my husband and I celebrated 43 years of marriage (note I do not say ‘wedded bliss’). Most have been good, but this last year was absolutely the most horrible, trying, year of medical (glad we both survived) and financial(glad we have a roof over our heads and food to fill our stomachs) problems yet it has made us a closer, stronger, more in love with each other couple than ever. Marriage, and a good life in general, is hard work and the results cannot be measured in any normal fashion.
January 20, 2011 at 10:50 am
Praise God! That’s a lovely testimony to a life well lived and enjoyed. Congratulations
January 20, 2011 at 11:23 am
Happy Anniversary today and a hope for many more to come.
January 20, 2011 at 11:32 am
Lovely tribute to your husband and family. I thought our wedding was “fancy” back in the day too. Small town country club reception with chicken salad and punch! Married in the church. As ususal your words of wisdom include wonderful friends as well as family. Glad you gave a nod to over population as well as the joys of a large family.
January 20, 2011 at 12:38 pm
If you two have been married that long and still care for each other that much, you have been greatly blessed! As someone else said your own choices and work also had something to do with it!
May you have many more such years together.
peace, shamba
January 20, 2011 at 10:59 pm
congratulations! Can I just say ” this post is useless without pics!”
January 21, 2011 at 12:48 am
Happy Anniversary and may you celebrate many more!
You’re right about simpler weddings. Ours was almost 28 years ago… we got married in the little chapel on base, the reception and dance were in the Elks Hall and my mother, grandmother and aunts cooked the meal which was served buffet style except for the head table. Mom had hired two local teenagers to serve us and to keep the buffet table resupplied.
Our honeymoon… we drove to Calgary and stayed in a hotel there… the next day we drove to Banff and then on up to Jasper. Found we couldn’t afford the price of hotels there and drove through the night to get back home.
Thanks for sharing Kathy. We are both very blessed.
January 21, 2011 at 5:43 am
Congratulations! Wealth is not measured by money, and you are truly wealthy and blessed. I wish you many more years of happiness.
January 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Congratulations Kathy! My husband and I are married 35 years. Our wedding and honeymoon were also simple, even for that time. But we enjoyed ourselves and the prize was being married, not the wedding. I had a nice dress, a sit-down lunch, and a wonderful week in Wisconsin (which about an hour north of where we lived) afterwards.
I’m dismayed by today’s wedding events – it seems the goal is the wedding, not the marriage.
January 21, 2011 at 1:30 pm
And I loved the recap of your many blessings. Thanks for taking time to share your life.
January 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
Congratulations!! Many, many more.
January 22, 2011 at 10:25 pm
Congratulations! You are blessed to have found that special person to spend your life with. I have also been blessed and have been with my husband since we were in high school-1969! We are very lucky and try not to take our life together for granted. We never had a honeymoon but instead have tried to make Friday night our special night together where we celebrate the ups and downs of the week and enjoy a special meal together. When the children were small they would have a special time with Dad and I would have time to myself to take a bath or read or whatever and then we would have our night after they went to bed. It is all the little things in a marriage that hold it together and help you to get through the tough times. Love your blog-thanks for sharing!
January 23, 2011 at 1:36 am
Congratulations, what a beautiful post. It made me smile.
January 24, 2011 at 4:27 pm
Happy, Happy Anniversary to you both.